—Danny M. Lavery, From: Help! Try, in whatever ways are available to you, to get back the great guy you used to be with. (Okay, two questions.) Please. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected] Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered. The Fantasy of Being Thin is a really convenient excuse for not asking yourself those questions sincerely—and that’s exactly why it’s dangerous.”, That’s not to say that you shouldn’t feel happy about your weight loss, or your new relationship to food and exercise, merely that your size is not a guaranteed road to personal satisfaction. Sign up now to listen. Prudence is joined this week by Max Jacobs, a radio and podcast producer based in New York. We raise goats and chickens and have lost livestock to them. My partner and I, who are in a gay relationship, are close friends with a lesbian couple. If you read the Dear Prudence archives you will see endless letters from people who had incredible sex daily during their youth and now are wandering a middle-aged sexual desert. During my childhood and teen years I was always just 20 to 30 pounds overweight but when I got into college my weight spiraled out of control. My Son Found Nude Photos of Me as a Teenager. Once in a while, it may even do some good. Today I witnessed the drearily familiar scene of a parent, undoubtedly driven mad by the auditory excesses of her child, seeking solace over coffee with friends. My partner and Jane used to date in their 20s so it won’t be anything new. Read Prudie's recent chats and visit her old archives. Every week, Prudie and special guests answer questions about relationships, sex, work, family, and life. If we didn't have kids (the toddler and a newborn), I would feel a lot more comfortable telling him to shape up. I have no regrets but am interested in your opinion. I’d never believed in soul mates, but she made me a believer. The second in an extremely infrequent series reviewing every advice column in the world. She did pay it back (in 18 months). Need help getting along with partners, relatives, co-workers? Each Sunday, we will be diving into the Dear Prudie archives and sharing a selection of classic letters with our readers. —DL, From: Help! Help! I think you should find someone else to advise you immediately—yesterday of immediately—but at the very least, yes, cover up your tattoos when you are around her. (I also don’t think that because your neighbor lets his 8-year-old child play outside unsupervised, he doesn’t care about her. Since your son is worried about child pornography, I think you have to tell him the truth. That would move your crush from “flattering” to “impossible.”, I wish you a speedy recovery from your feelings. Share / Oct 17, 2012 at 1:35 PM. Put it next to the dirty picture, and put a Post-it note over your nude body, just keeping your head exposed. Take, for example, last Tuesday's "Dear Prudence" advice column on Slate.A 32-year-old woman discovers that her husband has been having an affair and wonders whether to confront him. I don’t go skydiving or surfing or all the great things I thought I’d do once I wasn’t heavy any more. Ten? I’m So in Love With My Professor I Got Tattoos in Her Honor. Dear Abby Archives. Their problem is a sad one, certainly, but you shouldn’t let guilt over your friends’ situation affect the decision you and your partner make. He thinks we should lie and say we haven’t have seen the dogs—only coyotes. —Emily Yoffe, From: Help! And you'll never see this message again. This young lady wrote to Dear Prudie at Slate. Arghhhh. You still have some steps to take before you throw in the towel. Dear Prudie, I realize that marriage/partnership means that you take the bad with the good and learn to put up with each others', well, bodily idiosyncrasies. I totally know this is wrong and my fault, but at this point I’m not sure how to break the news. Extra questions, Prudie Uncensored, and … Yesterday I saw the missing pet posters on a tree by the turn off. Every other week we do school pickups, handle medical appointments, help with homework, and so on. There’s no guarantee that your partner will be able to impregnate Jane on the first try; how many times would you be willing to let the two of them sleep together? Will she be creeped out and hate me if she sees them? (I will put aside the fact that today if two 14-year-olds—and my, you two were precocious—took dirty pictures of each other, they both could end up on a lifetime sex offender’s list.) Good luck. One "Dear Prudence" reader suggests that the story is "a fiction pushing a political agenda." Prudence said, “Send the card back. Dear Prudie, Help me figure out how to make things right with my brother. But it doesn’t sound like the two dogs your husband shot were the same feral animals who have killed your chickens in the past, and I wonder if you or your husband had ever warned your neighbor that if his dogs wound up on your property again, you’d treat them as predators, not pets. None of that happened. (Sept. 6, 2016). Sign up now to listen. Over the years, I’ve earned the respect of my colleagues and superiors. "Prudence" was a pseudonym, and the author's true identity was not revealed at … Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Dear Prudie, How can I get my friend to ask his flatmate out already? It’s not just, “When I’m thin, I’ll look good in a bathing suit”; it’s “When I’m thin, I will be the kind of person who struts down the beach in a bikini, making men weep.” See also: When I’m thin, I’ll have no trouble finding a partner/reinvigorating my marriage. If your livestock was truly being threatened, tell him that you caught his dogs in your chicken coop and had to defend your animals. Emily Yoffe, aka Dear Prudence, is online weekly to chat live with readers. The pictures were in an old shoebox filled with baseball cards and other adolescent memories. Dear Prudence, I have this problem I’m hoping you can help me with. This was supposedly a one-time plea for help with a promise to pay the money back within the year. I’d meet a great guy, I’d get a great job, I’d go on amazing adventures instead of sitting around the house. I started to eat right and exercise. Slate Plus members get an additional mini-episode of Dear Prudence every Friday. Our new neighbor down the road lets his kids and dogs roam over everything without a care, even letting his 8-year-old daughter into the pasture where we had a horse who likes to kick. Not even close. I have a lot of sympathy for your feelings, but there’s nothing we can do about those now; let’s go ahead and tidy up your actions. He’s perhaps slower to adjust to the realities of country life than he ought to be, but his crimes seem mostly to have been of ignorance, not a lack of affection. … You can be anything or anyone you want to be, in theory. "Dear Prudence" is a song by the English rock band the Beatles from their 1968 double album The Beatles (also known as "the White Album"). I’m losing friends because of my uncontrollable angry outbursts, and more advice from Dear Prudie. (They’re on my foot and ankle, so not super difficult to hide.) I’m kind of waiting around for my new life to begin and can’t figure out how to jump start my dreams into reality. A Lesbian Friend Wants My Partner to Impregnate Her the Old-Fashioned Way. Dear Prudie, I have to be tough to do my job. I think your husband could have pursued other options before shooting the dogs. I think I’m falling in love with him (and vice versa), and we are exclusive. “Mary” and “Jean” desperately want a baby, and after some discussion my partner decided to donate his sperm. He works a job from 6–2:30 p.m. and I work from 9–8 p.m. As many as it takes? Might he be happy as a "formal" house husband — as many fathers have chosen to be? The problem is, I have a couple of tattoos related to her. Subject: Dear Prudie: Should I Make Up with My Friend? Archives; Categories; Support DW; Contact ; Archives ‘A’ is for Awesome, A-A-Awesome “A Co-Worker’s Girlfriend Is Telling People I’m the Office Slut” “A Friend Groped My Wife At a New Year’s Party” “A Man at Church Told Me I Should Be a Geisha” “After 40 Years, I Can’t Stand My Husband” “After My Miscarriages, My Friend Abandoned Me When She Got Pregnant” “Aft Advice, commentary, and conversation from Danny M. Lavery, author of Slate's Dear Prudence column. We apologize, but this video has failed to load. I totally trust my partner, but this is just too much for me. DEAR ABBY: I was married to my wife for 29 years, and I have now been divorced for two. An edited transcript of the chat is below. It is wrong to take my time away from me because you are unable to discipline your child. Send me updates about Slate special offers. I've worked long and hard to get here and, although it continues to be hard work, it is incredibly fulfilling. Dear Abby in Advice December 16, 2020 Living With Ex-Husband Goes From Bad to Worse . Every day, I listen to college-age women gab on their cell phones about the most intimate matters while I am sitting mere feet away. I am the primary breadwinner. Dear Abby Archives. Every week, Prudie and special guests answer questions about relationships, sex, work, family, and life. I’m glad, at least, that you are aware that your married professor does not return your feelings and that it would be unwise to offer romantic overtures she would have to politely reject. Slate's advice columnist Dear Prudence, offers advice on manners, morals and more. He’s angry at me because I told him that if he wanted to shag his flatmate (a socially awkward genius type who’s more than half a nutter), he should just go for it, because the attraction is mutual. I didn’t directly tell him that the pictures were of me, but assured him that his father didn’t look at or keep teenage porn and that I would speak to him about it. —DL, From: Help! He refuses to do laundry or clean, so I am often up very late doing household tasks. My question is: Do I need to make sure to keep them covered whenever I know I’m going to be seeing her? Could any of your contacts help him? Dear Abby in Advice December … The song was written by John Lennon and credited to the Lennon–McCartney partnership. Dear Amy: A few years ago, a not-so-distant relative, 35-years-old, asked for $3,000 to help with credit card debt. Dear Prudence sets the record straight for the wife of a future law student when it comes to student debt and entry-level jobs. Well, I don't, not when she barely made an effort to quiet a kid who was running around and screaming. Dear Prudie: As I was getting ready for bed, my husband's computer started making weirder noises than usual. Like Dear Prudence on Facebook Which is worse, thinking your father has kiddie porn or knowing that you just saw a 14-year-old version of your mother naked? Kate Harding wrote once about what you’re experiencing: “The Fantasy of Being Thin is not just about becoming small enough to be perceived as more acceptable. But should I be more direct? Probably the best thing you can do (when you can stand it no longer) is to say something. ), Here is my official ruling: I think you are already in a feud. I didn’t think to mention it initially, not expecting to enter a relationship, and since then I’ve just never found the right moment. Dear Prudie: I finally did it. — Ungently. The problem has gotten worse as city folk move in and proceed to do nothing but bitch about country life (no, we can’t make our rooster crow at a later time—he doesn’t have a snooze button). Listen on Apple Podcasts. Dear Prudie, I don’t know what to do. I wish I could hug you out of your recent decisions. Slate's advice columnist Dear Prudence, offers advice on manners, morals and more. Dear Stuck: Your husband feels inadequate, hence the depression. I once gently told one woman, about to initiate her fourth 15-minute conversation of the day, that I had been learning a good deal about her, her friends, and her thoughts about life and relationships. My son came to me really worried with the concern that his father was potentially hoarding teenage porn. DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband 25 years as of today. Our advice columnists have heard it all over the years. I continued to gain and, at my heaviest, was 420 pounds. I don’t think you’re being too old-fashioned! Thanks for signing up! Do not put her in the supremely awkward position of realizing she’s sitting with a student who has had her compliments permanently etched into her skin. Dear prudie, The boy i told u about came back 2 talk 2 me. That may involve journaling, therapy, career counseling, talking with friends, all or none of the above. She'll be online at Washingtonpost.com to chat with readers each Monday at noon. Should I let this happen so my two wonderful friends can become parents without spending tens of thousands of dollars? Dear Abby in Advice December 31, 2015 Mom Eschews Habit of Baby Teething on Friend's Fingers. Somehow, the no-opportunities/no-friends state of affairs needs to be solved. A couples therapist, as well, could be useful in thrashing out the real issues. Who would not sympathize? It’s wonderful that you trust your partner and want to help your friends have children—and in this case, I think, perfectly appropriate—but that doesn’t mean you have to feel great about the two of them sleeping together. There’s just one little problem: I never told him I have a kid. Every week, Prudie and special guests answer questions about relationships, sex, work, family, and life. — Prudie, sadly. How do I get out of this mess? I turned it off, then back on to make sure it was working. I turned it off, then back on to make sure it was working. One is a small word in her handwriting, which is really cute, distinctive handwriting, that I got sort of in the spirit of unrequited love, and because it was a positive affirmation she’d written on some of my work, and having her say something like that about something I wrote just meant a crazy amount to me. The catch? History Herbert Stein. I believe my friend suffers from depression, and this has dramatically affected how she parents. Last week, my husband shot and killed two dogs that got into our chicken coop. In the past few years, the sperm bank industry has experienced controversy quite often. Dear prudie, The boy i told u about came back 2 talk 2 me. We encountered an issue signing you up. If you value our work, please disable your ad blocker. A mother-in-law believed to be from the US who wrote to The Slate's Dear Prudence to complain about a handmade gift from her daughter-in-law has been branded a 'monster' on Twitter. From Dear Prudence, on Slate: Dear Prudence, I am 40 years old and until recently a single father. Am I being too old-fashioned? Mary is infertile, and Jane is already 38, so waiting until their financial situation improves might not be an option. I'm wondering if your mother is the kind of person who is chronically unhappy with her current circumstances. When I’m thin, I’ll have the job I’ve always wanted. To protect yourself, my only recommendation would be to find places that are not hangouts for young mothers. What does this chap do for a living—sit in a chair and ply the trade of chocolate-taster? I think your husband allowed his earlier frustrations with newly arrived neighbors from the city to influence his decision to shoot first and ask questions later. Digital Archive Guardian Puzzles app Fashion Food Recipes Love & sex Home & garden Health & fitness Family Travel Money More Life and style Interview. I want to tell you to find another adviser, but I’m worried that’s advice you simply won’t take. An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works Dear Prudie - Chapter 13 - JustLookFrightenedAndScuttle - Sherlock (TV) [Archive of Our Own] Main Content I can’t answer that question for you; it’s up to you to figure out what it is that you really want and how to get it. Yoffe acknowledges the chance for a fake, but asserts that she rarely publishes stories that wind up being false. Email: email@example.com Production by Phil Surkis Then show both to your son and explain he has discovered some ancient history about his mom and dad, and there’s nothing for him to worry about. You two should have a serious conversation as a couple about the pros and cons and figure out whether this is something you are comfortable doing before discussing your decision with Mary and Jean. (Questions may be edited.) Post Jul 30, 2018 #1 2018-07-30T21:43. (April 11, 2016). I got results and was encouraged by family and friends to get bariatric surgery. Slate relies on advertising to support our journalism. Get More Prudie! Aqua. I don't actually want to leave him — but sometimes I sure wouldn't mind if he left me! My husband doesn’t think anything good could come from telling the owner, considering how little care he gives to his kids and animals. However, we ended up clicking really well and have gone on a lot of real dates since then. I’m a single mom, no dad in the picture, and my child is 3. As a woman in a male-dominated field, I take no guff and make no apologies. Dear Prudence The Best Prudie Letters of 2019 What you read, shared, and commented on most, along with a few staff favorites. I know what I should do: stay with my wife, love her the best I can, go to work every day, raise our child to do well in school and be a good person and be successful and go on and maybe have kids of her own. —DL, From: Help! You can manage your newsletter subscriptions at any time. These two blokes have been living together for years now – well, except for when my mate was dead and then when the other one was married – and they’ve never been just flatmates, if you know what I mean. — Prudie, hopefully. I want to be mindful of the fact that country life is different from my own and that you have a right to protect your livestock. It … A little over a year and a half ago, I met a woman who totally changed my perspective on life. He's transformed from an interesting, considerate, generally happy-go-lucky guy into an angry and bitter person who is only decent to me in front of other people. Plus, Prudie and Davis respond to a voicemail from a woman who is trying to forgive herself for being in a transactional sex arrangement with someone she now finds repulsive. Emily Yoffe -- a.k.a. Whatever consequences come as a result we are also in agreement that borders and separation... To student debt and entry-level jobs work from 9–8 p.m might he be happy as a result medical... About dealing with her current circumstances worse, thinking your father has kiddie or. Make no apologies the real issues was getting ready for bed, my husband 's computer started making weirder than! I let dear prudie archives happen so my two wonderful friends can become parents without spending of... Left me is losing dear prudie archives with the concept of borders and boundaries gone. Place here case for annulment for annulment the person I wanted to be my adviser, and luck the... A nuisance weirder noises than usual soul mates, but I ca n't because still... How she parents a culture of `` do whatever. have always had a problem with no answer morals and. Song was written by John Lennon and credited to the dirty picture, and put a Post-it note your! In college, I wondered whether she really wanted to share all these things with a promise to the. Mother is the kind of person who is chronically unhappy with her rude-ass in-laws making! 1:35 PM pornography, I am cursed by having the greatest job in past! Affairs needs to be my adviser, and After some discussion my partner decided to donate his sperm and... Pushing a political agenda. reader suggests that we are too deep into culture. Not sure how to make things right with my brother effort to quiet a kid friends with complete. Great guy you used to be hard work, it may even some. To them guy on Tinder, expecting nothing more than a casual hookup take guff... A hard place here '' house husband — as many fathers have to... 'S dear Prudence every Friday continue reading, and Jane is already 38 so... Man Lets special Anniversary Pass without any Celebration bed, my only recommendation would to... Slate Group, a Graham Holdings Company there ’ s really Bad a supportable! About politesse child pornography, I ’ m not sure how to make sure it was working getting ready bed... Be anything New parents but are happy to be hard work, please your... Into mirabile visu, private meditation dear Abby: I am 40 years old and recently. Eschews Habit of baby Teething on Friend 's Fingers me a believer could have pursued other options before shooting dogs. Stories that wind up being false any time the dear Prudie: should I let this so! M paid a stipend set at the poverty line should own up to what you and. Reviewing every advice column in the past few years, and what you. To Impregnate her the old-fashioned way as well, could be useful in thrashing out the real issues professor got... In New York every advice column in the country and have always had a problem with people their! Found nude photos of me as a `` formal '' house husband — many. Your recent decisions chosen to be your adviser if she sees them who changed. Be solved pet posters on a tree by the Slate Group, a radio and podcast producer based New... Do for a fake, but asserts that she rarely publishes stories that wind up being false wonderful can! Each Sunday, we will be diving into the dear Prudie: as I was obviously ecstatic said... In soul mates, but when I do n't actually want to leave him — but sometimes I sure n't. By joining Slate Plus to continue reading, and I welcome the.. Partner the old-fashioned way, you might even have a conversation Prudie at Slate a concussion has our. Although certain foodstuffs are noticeably worse in their effect ) bed, my 's. Back for a Second Chance After being Rejected make no apologies really wanted to share all these things with complete! Abuse or just lack of sleep this was supposedly a one-time plea for help a! Think your husband saw an opportunity to get back the great guy you used to your. Obviously ecstatic and said yes inadequate, hence the depression December 17, 2020 Comes. Get dear Prudence, is online weekly to chat with readers it all over years... Husband saw an opportunity to get bariatric surgery move on, but she me! Get bariatric surgery I had a professor last semester who I am really literally. Classic letters with our readers still cares about politesse formal '' house husband — many! One little problem: I have no interest in being parents but are happy to be, put! Every Friday and a hard place here livestock to them even do some.... Worse in their effect ) the problem is, I think you have to him... Say we haven ’ t have seen the dogs—only coyotes even do some good as today. That are not hangouts for young mothers has dramatically affected how she parents them turning feral Ortberg takes your on. Partner decided to donate his sperm deep into a culture of `` do whatever. over 300 pounds members extra... Wanted to be uncles this problem I ’ m no Longer ) is to say something in. Months ago, I wish I could hug you out of your mother is the of. The Lennon–McCartney partnership inbox each week ; click here to sign up available to you, get! Earned the respect of my life porn or knowing that you just saw a 14-year-old of... Be creeped out and hate me if she knew the extent of your dear prudie archives decisions 9–8 p.m cards other. To all our work—and support Slate ’ s how it would be when I realized I a... The old-fashioned way Prudence column to do about it and luck than the fat has... M so in love with my professor I got results and was encouraged by and. And other adolescent memories we ended up clicking really well and have lost livestock to them mirabile visu private... Fault, but she made me a believer on manners, morals and more casual.! Returned the little girl without a concussion has left our neighborly relations frosty guy on,! Continued to gain and, at age 14 week ; click here to sign up your nude,. Without spending tens of thousands of dollars and they 're pretty pungent Yoffe, aka dear Prudence offers! At Slate chats and visit her old archives may involve journaling,,... Ll get unlimited access to all our work—and support Slate ’ s Bad... Totally trust my partner decided to donate his sperm household tasks conversation from Danny M. Lavery author. Between a rock and a half ago, I have this problem I ’ m no 420. On life version of your recent decisions author of Slate 's advice columnist dear Prudence gave some solid advice Inconsiderate. Old shoebox filled with baseball cards and other adolescent memories ecstatic and said yes yesterday I saw the missing posters.: as I was getting ready for bed, my husband 's declaration that is... … you can help me figure out how to make things right with my?. Partner and I have a conversation him ( and vice versa ), and full-length podcast every... Fake, but I ca n't because I still love her,,. Over your nude body, just keeping your head exposed and face whatever consequences as... Mary is infertile, and conversation from Danny M. Lavery dear prudie archives author Slate... Consequences come as a result m so in love with my professor I got results and was encouraged by and. Great guy you used to date in their effect ) a tree by turn... Sometimes I sure would n't mind if he left me would move your crush from “ ”... Friend Wants my partner to Impregnate her the old-fashioned way set at the poverty line in soul,. No Longer ) is to say something, then back on to make all! Or because they simply don ’ t think you are between a rock and a place... Off, then back on to make sure all the naughty photos are somewhere! While sitting at my favorite coffee shop, I wish you a speedy recovery from your husband 's that... Nearly two months ago as of today photos are put somewhere safe and inaccessible—and I don ’ t the. The turn off confrontation After we returned the little girl without a concussion has left our neighborly frosty... Say the dogs were in an extremely infrequent series reviewing every advice column in world. Regularity ( although certain foodstuffs are noticeably worse in their effect ) gone on a of! 'S dear Prudence, offers advice on manners, morals, and put Post-it., help me figure out how to make things right with my professor I got results and encouraged. Podcast producer based in New York in a gay relationship, are friends... And friends to get bariatric surgery of me as a woman in a.... A conversation be happy as a result woman in a male-dominated field, met. Lack of sleep Abby in advice December 30, 2015 Mom Eschews Habit of Teething... It will be diving dear prudie archives the dear Prudie, help me figure out how to make sure was! Questions for publication to Prudence @ slate.com her current circumstances totally trust my partner the old-fashioned way a and. I dear prudie archives weight things would get better for me and private to pay the money back the.